Btherres

"Bringing LiveJournal Back"

2009-05-03T21:47:05Z

I have a lot on my mind.

Last night i had a dream about Nickie. It was weird because we were going to her house or something and it was like nothing bad had ever happened between us. Even though, that isn't the case in real life.

Reality check! Breaking up with the boy you've been with for a year and a half and then when it's all said and done, your best friends decided it would be better to just not be your friend at all anymore. It was probably the hardest part of my life. It really made me appreciate the friends that i have now. I don't know where i'd be without Taisa, Kiley, & Ashley. They really have been my saving grace throughout EVERYTHING.

I miss Erin. I hate to say it, but she's like the ex-boyfriend that you can't get over. She was my friend since 1st grade. Sure, we've "broken up" plenty of times before, but somehow we always made it back into each others lives. I hate that when i have an inside joke with her and i wanna text/call her and tell her about it, but know that's not gunna be an option. Although i would never really wanna be her friend again, i do miss her.It sucks that things panned out the way they did. Now she's BFF with Nickie and after what Nickie did to me... there is no way in hell that I would be OK with bringing either one of them back into my life. How can you move in and sleep with my ex-boyfriend like RIGHT after we break up?? Where is the friendship and loyalty in that? Obviously they were never really my friends. Don't get me wrong, I will be the first to admit when i came to guys i wasn't the best girlfriend, but when it came to my friends - they are my everything! I just could have never done that to any of my friends -- whether or not we stopped being friends or not.

Even though the situation really sucked, I learned a lot about myself and who i was as a person. I realized the things that i cared about then, didn't seem to matter as much anymore. That staying in on a Friday night is OK and that I didn't need to care about what other people thought about me.

Life is good right now. I wish I could find a full time job. It's been so rough. I hate the economy right now!! Think about EVERYONE losing their jobs trying to find a new one - let alone being a college graduate and trying to get one. UGGHHH!! (Frustration in it's finest).

Part of what makes my life so great right now is the fact that i found someone to truly love. My boyfriend is great!! I realized this is what I have been missing all my life. I've always had a wonderful family, and i know who my friends are and love them more than life itself, but there was a piece of me missing. No matter who i dated, I was never truly happy, but now all that has changed. I can honestly say that this is one of the best relationships i've ever been in. I mean it's still new, but i've never been with someone that i wanted to spend all my time with if i could. I didn't play it safe... i took a risk and jumped into something that i was scared to death to do. Sure, we've had our ups and downs, but what relationship hasn't?? All in all though, it's been great!

Well, now that i've brought back LiveJournal, I'll be writing more often. I like it.

Positives!

2007-03-13T22:41:14Z

+ It's so NICE out!
+ I'm going to the T-Wolves game tonight!
+ No more early classes
+ I'm watching REBA!

That's all i have to say. I hope all is well with you.

Stressed beyond belief

2007-02-20T17:56:52Z

Hello All,

Wow, i haven't been on here in a long time, and it's really nice now! Way to go Live Journal.

So i posted a blog on my myspace, but i thought i would write again. The first time i wrote I felt pretty good, but maybe if i post again, i'll feel even better.

Ok, so i'm stressed. I mean i'm so stressed that i think i'm creating this rash that's all over my body, but i could have gotten bit by something. It sucks. I seriously itch everywhere. I have these little red dots all over my body. It sucks. I go to the doctor tomorrow for it, but still, today is sucking with it.

Speaking of doctor, i have to go to the doctor on Monday the 26th because i need to get all this cancer shit scrapped out of my vagina. Ok, that's kind of graphic, but hey that's what they're doing. I will not only be able to have sex for about 4 weeks (whatever), I can't wear a fucking tampon for that long either. Ok, pads seriously suck. Not only will i not be able to do any of that, but i can't be physical for about 4 weeks either. That is not good since i realized that i've become a fat ass and need to start working out. I was going to try the method of just not eating at all, but aparently that's not a good idea.

I'm not only dealing with that, i have to take care of my roommates and all the bills in the house. This is hard when trying to get money from all of them. It's almost like a chore. Don't get me wrong some are pretty responsible, but i hate not having things in and not doing anything right away. It sucks. I just want to get everything in and not have to worry about it.

It doesn't that my boyfriend doesn't help what so ever. It's not his fault, but i don't know who can make me feel better? I think i seriously miss Yvonne more than she would probably ever know. I mean i don't have that person there for me 24/7 that i live with to talk to. It sucks ass. I miss her so much. I don't know why i'm so angry all the time either? I feel like i'm always mad for some reason. It sucks. Along wiht being sad all the freaking time - i'm also always so sad. There hasn't been a night since this week that i haven't cried. It sucks. I really don't know what's wrong with me? If any one has idea idea please let me know. I don't mean to be sad or even mean, but sometimes i can't help it. It's almost as though i have constant PMS all the time. I hate it. I really do. I try hard tnot be like that, but it's so hard sometimes.

I should be doing homework

>> Brittany <<

Talking

2006-12-12T16:19:25Z

All right I have 15 minutes before my 2nd to last final. This one shouldn't be as bad as the one I had at 7:30 AM this morning. Astronomy = Blah. Probably didn't help that i didn't study at work as much as i would have liked. Instead me and Yvonne got drunk. Yeah, we're two of the brightest! But times like those i will miss. I feel as though my college life is ending because she's leaving me, but i have to get past it. The semester is coming to an end and it's a real shock! This time next year i'm going to get ready to student teach - craZy! I'm so old! Haha. I leave for Hawaii in less than a month and I couldn't be more excited!!!!! It should be one of the better times of my life.

Well I should be heading to my final - wish me luck.

Xo. Britt

P.S. I'll let you know how that meeting with my Landlords go! That will be another interesting thing to talk about.

Life.

2006-12-11T18:22:07Z

Life So Far:

It's been a long time since I've wrote in here. I thought I would write since i have a lot going on in my life.
It's been really hard lately. My brother isn't doing all that well and i'm scared for him, and i'm dealing with something that i've been putting off on making a doctor's appointment because i'm afraid of dealing with it. I know that's not the smartes thing, but maybe when i get back from hawaii - i'll deal with it.
It's final's week here at Concorida and then i have a year and half left until i'm done and teaching. Weird. I know.
Life has been an adventure in it's own. Yvonne is leaving me to be with her boyfriend down in Florida. I'm happy for her, but at the same time i'm being selfish and wish she wouldn't leave. All i want is for her to stay so we could get a cute appartment and live together. I know that sounds stupid, but she's been wtih me throughout my entire college career so far, i don't know what i'm going to do without her?
Since i've written - which was a while ago, i've gone through a lot. I'm with the most amazing guy in my entire life. I don't think i could be any happier. Spending time with him is the greatest thing in the world. I finally found my other half.
I will admit that sometimes it's rough and we are going through different periods of our lives, but we are honestly a perfect match.
I hate my living situation. Besides Yvonne (who is moving out) I don't know why i'm living here. My roommates are incompentant and are very inconsiderate. Living with them is hell. They don't think of others and all they care about is themselves. I seriously don't understand why they are so immature. Who throws a party evrey weekend and not take into consideration that they have two roommates downstairs who ACTUALLY HAVE JOBS AND LIVES that pertain to something other than partying. I'm sorry that we are actually making a life for ourselves. I could rant about them over and over again because they're idiots and have NO respect for anyone! Good luck paying any type of rent because i'm pretty sure none of them have a checking account or if they try to pay rent with a check, it bounces -- ouch i know but seriously you're 19/20 years old- GROW UP!

Xo. Britt

Life as of now...

2006-08-22T15:16:23Z

Ok, so i haven't written in a while, but i thought i would just do a quick update because i'm so pissed that i have to go to work this morning. Ugh. I tried to get it off because i wanna get shit done for school and enjoy the weather while i still have the freedom. Oh well. Can you believe that i start school on thursday? Weird, i know, but this year is going to fly. Pretty soon i'm going to be done and teaching. Wow, now Britt, don't get ahead of yourself! Anyway, things are going good for me. I have a nice place i'm living in, with a wonderful roomie. My friends are fantastic, and i have a really great boyfriend! Now... i'm going to be hit by a bus. Haha. Just kidding, but things are going really well, i just wish i could say that financially! oh damn. I should be getting ready for work, but i really don't want to go. I'm so crabby right now. All i want to do is sleep. Plus, i'm there for like 7 hours today and what am i going to do? Just sit there and read books, that's what i'm giong to do! At least when school starts i'll be able to do homework and get that shit done.
Well i better start getting ready for work. Don't worry, i'll be updating more now. Did you guys notice that facebook is trying to get people to use livejournal by putting it on their website, weird... and what is with these badges thing? Well, id on't know but facebook is getting more and more complicated as the weeks go by... that's why i just stick to myspace! haha

Love ya!
Xo. Britt

btherres @ 2006-04-10T02:40:00

2006-04-10T07:50:08Z

Although there are a few of you out there who actually read this, i'm writing to those who have a thought in their head that maybe feel the same as i do. I feel like since i've made this change in my life, i've done nothing but let people down. I feel as though i've lost my best friend, and some one else who is close to me. I don't understand why life can't be simple, then again, that wouldn't be life. Life isn't suppose to be simple. So why write about how life isn't fair and write about how it is. It's fair for me to be happy. it's fair for me to have something that i want. It's fair to be with someone makes me happy, but apparently i've let down those who cared. I don't know why?! Because of me letting them down, i don't get the privlage of being happy. I don't want things to change, but who am i kidding... they will. There we go again with things not being fair. This isn't his fault at all and it's not fair to choose. I don't have to choose because i shouldn't have to. If those who say they cared about me before shouldn't care that something in my life is different.
I know this probably doesn't make sense to a lot of you, but it's killing me inside. I just want to cry, but that's not going to change anything. It probably won't even make me feel better, but I don't know what else to do. I've made an attempt and now i just have to wait. Waiting sucks... let me tell you. But i'm sure you've all encountered a time where you've had to wait for something. I don't know? I would say fuck it, but why? I care about these people too much to do that. That shows i care right?
It doesn't help that my grandma isn't doing that well and my mom has been up late at nights worrying about her. I don't know. Maybe i'm putting too much on myself, and right now i should be finishing up a paper, but i can't help but think something's wrong. There's always something wrong. I don't hate myself because there's no reason for me to hate myself, but i hate how things are turning out. WHY WON'T PEOPLE LET ME BE HAPPY!? Then again, maybe i'm overracting over nothing. I tend to do that a lot. I guess i just gotta see hwo things go and let it flow...

-She needs someone to hear when she crys-

It's been a while

2006-04-03T17:42:45Z

Why is it were expected to grow up so fast. Although we think that high school takes forever to get through, it's only 4 years of our lives and it goes by so fast. My brother is going to be a junior at the end of this year and it's just crazy. I'm going to be a junior at college next year. That scares me. We grow up so fast. I know i probably sound like a mother right now, but i'm scared. I don't know what i'm going to do with the life ahead of me. 4 1/2 years of college and then what? Being completely in debt because of loans and going off and teaching somewhere?! Why is it when we grow up were expected to know what we want to do with the rest of our lives. Maybe i'm reading too much into it, but it's our future... our life... does it scare anyone else but me??
For all you seniors in high school, i hope you made this year enjoyable and long lasting because once college hits, you have so much to think about! I mean don't get me wrong, college has been the best years of my life, but there's so much to think about.
I'm moving into a house this summer and i'm super excited, but again, i'm on my own and i'm doing this just scared out of my mind. Thinking that i'm going to have to be paying bills here soon, and now starting to pay loans off... ugh. I wish the world around us didn't involve money, but that would be Ridiculous - i know, but still.
I don't know, this is all too much right now. My mind is all over the place. I'm scared of a lot of things right now. My life, future, grandma, the one boy who has stolen my heart, and so much more! Yes, i worry too much - probably about the dumbest things, but i can't help it. I guess i'm just too sensitive to so much stuff, that i don't know what to do?!

Ugh.

btherres @ 2006-03-22T20:32:00

2006-03-23T02:41:16Z

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

This song explains my life. No i haven't lost someone, but i hold everything back. I hold all my words, feelings, and so much more. I do this and it's ruining my life! I'm too passive and i have no strength in me. When i do stand up for myself, it back fires and i just get shit on. Life isn't fair, i know, but i would like for once that something would go my way and for me to be OK.

- i've had better days -

Little Devotional

2006-01-17T06:12:53Z

So probably one of the biggest things in my brothers life just happened to him. He was cheated on, and i was about to kick some ass. I never thought my brother could be in so much pain, but when he was, he came to me. I just let him tell me everything he could and i was just there for him. Him talking to me made me cry so hard. I started thinking about everything in my life that has happened. I've treated guys badly, but i've also been treated badly. More now I've been treated badly, but oh well.

With everything that happened to my brother, it just got me thinking - what's the point anymore? Is there really anyone out there that wants the same thing?? I finally just realized that things are never going to turn out how i want them to. I'm so afraid of so many things, but i wish someone was there to help me out. I want someone there to show me the right way. I want someone to be there for me. I should just stop.

Girl Next Door

2006-01-12T07:21:21Z

Small town homecoming queen
Shes the star in this scene
Theres no way to deny shes lovley
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside shes ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishin that I was someone else

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
I get A little bit she gets a little more
Shes Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door...

btherres @ 2006-01-08T02:29:00

2006-01-08T09:00:17Z

My whole life is a lie. I'm constantly lying to myself about everything. To myself, i think i know what i want, but honestly, i'm just denying the fact, i have NO idea what the hell i want. I've been up late at night just thinking about random shit and I hate it.

Now Aaron has facebook and adds me as a friend. I thought removing him from my buddy list and not really talking to him would make me feel better, but knowing he's with her, it still hurts. It's not like i haven't moved on or anything, but theres some void left in my heart from him. But my whole time with Aaron was a lie. It was lust which we at one point thought was love. Wow, me and Aaron ended like in August and i'm still here writing about him, but once i saw his facebook picture of him and her it hit me where it hurt. Knowing the reason were not together is because he fell for her. I'm fine i guess, just dissapointed, in him, and in myself. I read old journal entries (my real journal) and miss him. I miss what we were together. I read my books and he's the one guy i compare them to. That's why i'm dissapointed in myself because I miss him. I don't even want to miss him, but i do.
I'm sorry, i'm done dwelling on the past, i'm ready to move on... or am i? I can't just get past getting hurt. Brian Jamros has the same affect on me. I'm thinking were OK, he gives me this an that as explinations and turns around and does something completely different. I mean he was someone i never really had, just a long and hard crush that died... long and hard.

I would technically say i'm a unhappy person. I'm not all down on myself because of everything that has happened, but i'm more scared than anything in the world. I'm afraid of being hurt. So afraid. I know i have the greatest friends in the world to be there for me when i need it, but it's just hard sometimes. It's almost like I want to just sit and cry to make everything OK again. Sometimes that's just what you have to do.

I'm sick of being such a downer, i'm sorry everyone.

Happy Thoughts:
Carley comes home on Monday and Yvonne comes home on Tuesday. So pumped. I'm so ready for a drink! haha. Plus, i don't have to work at all this week and ugh, it's so nice! I'm praying this is going to be a wonderful week and a nice way to end the break! Yahoo! I hope everyone else has a wonderful break and if you wnat to hang out... just ask : )

Lust

2006-01-07T22:40:36Z

The reason we have lust - i believe - is so we can get hurt so many times that we just give up and forget about every significant other we've ever had. Well forget, that's too strong, but realize that there is no hope. Once we stop looking, we'll find who's right for us. Because we give up, we hope that love will just fall into our laps.

Ugh. I'm so sick of thinking about all this. Granted i don't have to think about it, but i do because i'm an idiot! oh well.

"All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies
When someone else was on your mind
What you do to me
Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you play with my emotions and you made me cry"

Trying to take my mine off of things

2006-01-06T08:25:45Z

Body:

1. Are you wearing shoes?: Nope Socks

2. Whats the third letter in your name?: "I" It's for .... nothing... haha

3. How old is your pet(s)?: Harlee is 6

4. What color is your underwear?: No underwear here : )

5. Are you sick?: I just have the sniffles

6. Are you in school?: Nope, not yet.

7. Is the bathroom door open?: Why yes it is... it's right next to me!!!

8. Are you on a laptop?: Nope, desktop

9. Are you watching MTV?: Nope, but listening to music, which MTV does not play until 3:00 AM - when i should be sleeping, but i'm usually watching that.

10. Are you smiling?: Nope

11. Do you have on eyeliner?: Yes, white.

12. Is it early?: Early or late depends on how you look at it.

13. Are you blonde?: Nope

15. Are you in high school?: no thank fucking god.

16. Are you in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend?: I lack what you call "boyfriend"

19. What color is your bathing suit?: Which one? The ones I wear the most are Black and the other one is Green and white.

20. Does your school start in august?: Yep.

21. Did you go on vacation last month?: Nah.

22. Have you ever been on a cruise?: Why yes, yes i have!

23. Do you have a sister?: Nope.

24. Are you upstairs?: Nope. Man i'm answering no to a lot of these questions

26. Do you have a friend named alex?: Many

27. Does your name end with a Y?: Why yes, yes it does!

28. What's your middle name?: Lynn

29. Are your ears pierced?: Yep.

30. Do you own a digital camera?: Yep, just got one for Christmas.

31. Do you live in florida?: Nope, but my roommates there right now, and her boyfriend is from Florida.

32. Do you have a lover?: Lover? No, Crush- quite possible.

33. Ever had sushi?: Nap aka No

34. Are you listening to rock?: Soft Rock

35. What color is your chair?: Black

36. Where'd you get your pants?: Um... i think i got these at Kohls

37. Do you type with your feet?: I probably could if i tried... haha nah!

38. Have you dyed your hair red?: Yes, that's all i used to dye my hair, but now i just stick to black.

39. Are you tired?: kind of

40. Do You WrItE lIkE tHiS?: Nope

41. Are you an idiot?: Idiot is extreem, but i'm a little ditzy here and there.

42. Do you like being in relationships for the sake of being in them?: Sometimes i think i do, but i don't think i really do. I think I like to THINK that i want a boyfriend for the sake of having one, but if i really had one i'd really have to like 'em and it wouldn't be for the sake it would be becasue i want one.

45. Is Alcohol Bad for the Soul?: I'm not sure, but if it is... i have a bad soul.

46. Are you bored?: Eh, i guess.

47. What time is it?: 2:21 am

49. chocolate or peanut butter?: Chocolate

50. How many kids would u like?: Two of three at the most.

Jimmy

2006-01-02T00:18:44Z

Happy New Year!!!

I guess that is expected, but oh well. I don't ever make new years resolutions because they're suppose to last all year, and i don't think i could do that. Lent is hard enough for me. I guess i want to be a happier person.

Last night me and Erin went to the hotel party that the graduates of '05 put on and the only reason i went was because of Jimmy. Don't get me wrong it was really nice to see all those people, but Jimmy was my main reason. Then while we were there, Fro had asked if we were still together, and i said no, hten she asked what we were (then asked if we were fuck buddies), but all of the above was no, but i knew what i wanted to say... or did i? Do i really know what i watn from all of this. Then Erin asked me what we were and i had told her that if Jimmy were to be like "lets be together" i would say "yes" but would I? I do love Jimmy, probably more than anyone i've ever dated, but i'm scared. I know he's the real deal and i know that if i'm going to be with him i'm going to be with him for a long time. I don't wnat him to miss any oppertunities or anything.

Last night being with him, i was happy. I hate thinking of him with other girls and i know thats the jealous part of me coming out, but still, he means so much to me, i can't lose him. I always want to be with him and that scares me.

I realize i'm rambling... I'm sorry. I'm just confused and need someone to talk to about this. Me and Jimmy were suppose to hang otu tonight, but he's too hung over, which is fine, i'm sure i'll find something to do, but i really miss him. I want to hang out with him. The weekend he was back and we hung out it was awesome. It was like the best thing ever! ugh... If only knew.

*Britt*

btherres @ 2005-12-31T00:38:00

2005-12-31T07:11:15Z

I haven't updated in a while. I hope everyone's holidays were good. Mine were pretty good. I got a digital camera like everyone else on this planet. I also got my wisdom teeth pulled! Lucky me!! But lucky for me there was no after pain really. I mean there was no swelling or anything. It was actually quite nice. I was eating real food the next day pretty much, but i think it's good because i'm drinking a lot more water and no pop. For lent i decided to give up pop and fast food, but if i can get rid of pop now, not eating fast food will be so much easier! haha.

Lets see what's new... I'm finally 22! haha. You catch my drift! haha.

Um lets see. Nothing really interesting is happening in my life. I don't really have plans for New Years. Yes, i know of things to do, but nothing i really want to do. I mean I can't really drink since of my teeth and i don't know how much i really want to drink, but we'll see.

I feel bad for my family. My brother had the flu all day yesterday, my mom caught my dad's cold and she's really sick, and my dad has been out plowing forever. I feel bad. Then theres me... toothless annie, well not really, but you catch my drift. haha.

Well i think that this vicodin is kicking my ass, i'm sure i'll talk to ya'll later !!!!!
*B

Survey

2005-12-20T23:01:31Z

Painted your room? Um, I don't believe I did, but my dad did.
Made out with a member of the same sex? Yeah, like all the time when i'm drunk.
Drove a car? Actually yes, and tonight i got to drive a huge ass truck!!!!!
Danced in front of your mirror? Of course!
Been dumped? Way too much lately.
Stole money from a friend? Nah, I don't role that way!
Gotten in a car with people you just met? HAHA YES!!!!!!
Been in a fist fight? Nah, i'm a lover not a fighter, unless i'm drunk!
Snuck out of your house? Yep. I'm good at it, no i'm jk because I only did it once, but we used to sneak out of Erins house and G's house.
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yeah, like every guy.
Been arrested? Nope, i'm a good girl!
Made out with a stranger? Yep
Left your house with out telling your parents? Yeah???
Had a crush on your neighbor? Yep!!! haha.
Ditched school to do something more fun? No, me and Erin used to plan to, but never did.
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Of course..
Seen someone die? Kind of
Been on a plane? Yes
Kissed a picture? Yep
Slept in until 3? ...or later? Um.. yeah, but i feel bad!
Love someone or miss someone right now? YES!
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Of course
Made a snow angel? I need to! but yes, I have
Played dress up? When i was younger
Cheated while playing a game? Yeah.. ooops : )
Been lonely? Lately....
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yep.
Felt an earthquake? Nah.
Touched a snake? Yep.
Ran a red light? Unfotunatly YES!
Been suspended from school? Nah
Had detention? Nope.
Been in a car accident? Yes, a lot. haha. but none really my fault.
Hated the way you look? Sometimes
Witnessed a crime? Um... kind of
Been lost? Yes
Been to the opposite side of the country? Nope
Felt like dying? yes
Cried yourself to sleep? yes yes
Sang karaoke? Yeah, on that game....
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? YES, all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? Nope
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? lol yup!!!
Kissed in the rain? Yes!! it's hot!!!!!!
Sing in the shower? yes'm
had a dream that you married someone? definitley
Glued your hand to something? yes
Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? not a flag pole...
Ever gone to school partially naked? No, we coudln't do that
Been a cheerleader? Nah.
Sat on a roof top? Yeah me and Erin already did that.
Ever been too scared to watch a scary movie alone? YES
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? YES- i hated it!!!!!!!!!!!
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? lol yup.
Broken a bone? nope
Been easily amused? YES!
Laugh so hard you cry? yeah
Cheated on a test? Yep, Chemistry
Forgotten someone's name? Yep.
Blacked out from drinking? no
Played a prank on someone? HAHA, yes!!!!!!!!
Gone to a late night movie? Yep
Made love to anything not human? Um.... what kind of question is that???? NO
Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? Yeah a Quater
Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? haha, i barely practiced
Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? yes... : (
Did you celebrate the 4th of July? Yep, up in Grand Rapids with my bestest friends
Felt like killing someone? No
Thought about running away? Yes
Ran away? No
Did drugs? Yep
Had detention and not attend it? nap!!!
Made parent cry? Yes
Cried over someone? Yes
Owned more than 5 sharpies? Yep
Dated someone more than once? Yep
Own an instrument? Clarinet and Bass Clarinet
Been in a band? Yes, the high school band...haha! I'm proud of it
Drank 25 sodas in a day? doubt it
Broken a cd? Yes
Shot a gun? Nope

Survey... Bored!

2005-12-14T05:48:35Z

A- Age you lost your virginity?
Senior Year

B-Birthday?
June 5

C- Car?
1992 Jimmy

D- Dads name?
Michael

E- Easiest person to make you laugh
Peterson

F- Food you eat most?
McDonalds... lol jk I'm not sure.

G- Any encounter with ghosts?
Nope, thought i saw Angels once, but i was just trippin

H- Hungry?
Nah,i should be, i haven't ate since 1

I- innie or outtie?(belly button)
innie

J- Jumped in a pool with all your clothes on?
Not willingly

K- Kissing with eyes open or closed?
Closed

L- Last time you did something "bad"
a couple of weeks ago

M- Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute?
Probably my first kiss... and my cruise, i met some amazing people

N- Nicknames
BeeRitt, B, Btherres, Britt

O- Whats your most valued possession
How is that an O ???? My heart

P- Person you last talked to on the phone?
Yvonne

Q- Quote that you feel represents you right now?
Don't find me beacuse i don't want to find you - me

R- What are you allergic to?
Bubble Bath

S- Song you last sang out loud?
I wanna be a balla....

T- Time you woke up?
9:15

U- Sing soft or loud?
depends

V- Vegetable you hate most?
Coliflower (sp??)

W- What are you most afraid of?
MOST? Death

X- X-rated love life?
.... nonexistant

Y- Yellowcard or Green Day?
New Found Glory

Z- Zodiac Sign?
Gemini

Truth of my Youth

2005-12-12T03:24:51Z

I haven't written in awhile. I thought i'd update. I should be studying for finals, but i'm so burnt from doing that i need to break. Granted i haven't been studying for the past half an hour, but that's ok. I thought i did enough studying last night at work.

I've had so many ups and downs the past couple of weeks, i don't even know what to think anymore? Christmas break is coming up and i'm excited, but i'm not. I really want Nickie to come home because i really miss her. Maybe i should transfer up to Soup Town and play some basketball up there. Haha. I really miss basketball. I can't for Inter. to start. Also, me and Erin thought of having a pick up game going over break with the girls. That would be so much fun! I can't wait. I need to get my mind off of things. But than again - i'm going home and i will have nothing to do but think. Yeah, great!

Me and Colby's relationship is blossoming. Haha just kidding, but we've had many encounters and have had some actual conversations. So that's been pretty good. I'm lackin in my sleep and it's not helping my health. I'm getting sick and that's not whta i need right now. I have two test tomorrow, one on tues and I have a bunch of KHS things to do.

I'm so lost and confused on what to think? I've had the worst luck with a lot of things lately. I wish things would turn around. I wouldn't go as far as saying i was unhappy, but i'm not feeling the best either. Maybe i'm just stressing with school ending and all the stuff i have to do as far as studying and stuff. I guess i just have to have a different mind mantality on things. Me and my friend Nate were talking about this the other day, but when it comes to the opposite sex the only "guy" you can trust is your father and the only "girl" you can trust is your mother. It's totally true. In my case the only two people i cant trust that are guys are my dad and my brother.

It's so weird. Like i'm fine without someone i really am, but it just sucks because i'm around so many people that have someone it gets kind of old. You run into guys that are like "i don't want a girlfriend" and that's fine, but then how do you like someone and never want anything from that person? I just don't understand. It kind of gets me down because i just don't understand. How do you like someone and then say something like that... nm it's a rough subject.

I really need to get away. I think when i graduate i'm going to go somewhere far and get away from everything. I'm going to go somewhere i'd enjoy. Somewhere warm. I need to get away from my parents and i need to go somewhere where i know things are going to be different and i'm going to be happy. As of right now the only thing keeping me here in MN is my family. I'm just confused i guess.

*out for now*

Life =

2005-12-04T08:50:30Z

Bah Humbug!

Time After Time

2005-11-28T19:51:53Z

I don't know why i'm writing when i wrote last night?? Oh well. My 11:10 Class got cancelled today because my professor was sick. Thank God for having a professor who's pregnant. It's better than a softball coach pregnant every year!! It's too early to do the +'s but i'll make a separate live journal later just on those. I'm waiting to go to my meeting with my adviors about next years schedule. After that me and Kaitlin are going to work out. I can't wait. Then hopefully i'll get a nap in. I hope so anyway. I'm so freaking tired. Last night Carley came in my room (because neither one of us could sleep) and we just talked about a lot of random shit. We found out we know the same girl in International Falls. I know weird.

I can't believe that school is almost over this semester. I think it's crazy. I really don't want to go back for christmas break. First off, i don't know how much of my family i can handle and second of all, i don't know what i'm going to do with myself?! It's not like i'll have homework to do, and i'll only be working a little bit. It's going to be interesting. I just figured out my work schedule and i work Christams Eve, but i don't work New Years Eve!! YAY!

I don't really have a lot going on today, i want to get a lot of hw done so i don't have a lot to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow is my busiest day ever. I have my meeting in like 10 minutes. I hoep it goes by fast. I really need a nap. EEK.

I have my CPR training at 8:00 AM on Saturday. Blah. Yeah, i'll be certified! Yahoo. As you can i'm super excited. But what i'm really excited about, me and Mikey are having dinner on Wednesday! I can't even recall the last time i saw him.

Well i'm going to head to my meeting.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!

btherres @ 2005-11-28T00:14:00

2005-11-28T06:30:28Z

Ok, REALLY pissed off right now, i just lost my entire live journal. Oh man... Ok well i'll try to write this over again.

I'm really glad to be back. I really missed Carley and Kaitlin. We had good times in the library today!! We know how to have a good time.

I think i'll start this live journal out with some of the positives:

+ I got 1/2 in cut off of my hair (healthy!!)
+ I've been tanning 3 days in a row (and burned to all hell right now)
+ My mom did my laundry
+ I worked out today
+ I ate healthy today
+ I got all my homework done
+ Mikey's back
+ I got to hang out with Nickie

That's kind of a short list, but that happens. I mean the occomplisments were good! This weekend was pretty good. I got to hang out with my girl Nickie. I missed her so much. We ended up over at her sisters house and ran into a bunch of graduates of '04. So it was kind of a nice reunion. Then last night I hung out with Andrew. That was nice. I hadn't seen him in forever. Hasn't changed much, but that's ok because i haven't either. Well... i mean he's changed since we dated a while back, but since we've hung out this summer. We went to Boston's resturarant, it's italian, and really good. Then we went and saw SAW 2. Yeah didn't like it that much. But oh well.

Man, i should be sleeping right now, but apparently the first live journal i wrote got DELETED!! Anyway, before bed i've been thinking about past relationships and what not. It's weird. I've been thinking about that thing i wrote about Austin's girlfriend and i don't necessarily feel bad, but i probably shouldn't have put it in here. I mean, she hasn't been the nicest to me in the beginning and Austin didn't really either, so i mean i have a lot more stuff i could do before they really get on my ass, but oh well. The only one i have a grudge against - that i feel bad for, is Aaron. I hate it because i really liked him - i mean a lot. But i'm so hypocritical because before we officially broke things off... i was reunited with everything from last year. That reunited thing is leaving for good though. Weird. That's ok, i was young and stupid. I've learned... No matter who you meet in life, they make an impact in one way or another. You should never regret anyone in your life because they helped with who you are today. As bad as it was, they were there for a reason.

As of right now, i don't want to find anyone or anyone to find me... i'm content with just me and doing whatever i can.

I have a headache from this stupid burn... i'm going to try to sleep!!

Nordeast

2005-11-24T07:00:39Z

I just thought i'd write because I have things on my mind. But first i thought I would make my list of things that are good right now:

+ I finally talked to the Bear Center about the financial stuff
++ Colby and I's relationship (and by relationship i mean friendship that is expanding) is growing!!
+ Carley and I had a sleep over last night!!
+ I got to see ALL my friends tonight!!!
++ To Nickie and Taisa because i haven't seen them in FOREVER!!!!
+ I think I did pretty decent on my Psych Exam
+ I got to drink with Yvonne before we left
+++ We're on break
+ I made $70 in tips today!
++ I got to go out with Jimmy and catch up on things
+ Family is good
+ Finally scheduled a meeting wtih my advisor for Monday
++++ IT'S THANKSGIVING - YUMMY FOOD!!

That's all i got right now, but i'm sure there were a ton more stuff.

After Thanksgiving I need to work on my working out. I need to work out a lot more ! I need to get rid of this tummy! I figure i'll run 20 min everday and do like 100 crunches. I'll get there some how! Haha. I need to keep to my word though because i always tell myself stuff, but then i never follow through because i'm a lazy ass or 'something comes up.' If only i could play basketball everyday. That would be awesome! But i'm determined to keep that goal to myself. I should probably eat a lot healthier as well. I've been good with the fast food though! Good Job Britt!

The stuff i really want to talk about, i'm not going to because I just don't care anymore !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

btherres @ 2005-11-21T23:24:00

2005-11-22T05:36:19Z

I feel like i haven't written in a while, but it's been only like a day. I don't know. Things are going all right. Tomorrow's my last day of school until break. Thank God, but the only thing that sucks is that tomorrow is my busiest day! Ugh. Oh well, i need to do a lot of KHS. I need to finish studying for Psych, read a little bit for Lit and then i'll probably go to bed. EEK! I hope i do all right on this Exam tomorrow. I think i'll be fine though.

Lets see what else is going on... Um... nothing reallly. I was def. a sports fanatic this past weekend. On friday i went to the vball game, then on Saturday i went to the girls basketball game, then went back up there for the volleyball game, then yesterday i went to the boys basketball game. Wow, our guys basketball team is HOT! Not to mention how amazing Colby looks in a uniform!!! AW!
I'm really excited to go back and watch my brother play! Yay for Jake!

Wow, this Psych isn't looking too exciting. Blah. Oh well. I shoudln't be as tired as i am, i took a nice 45 minute nap!

Everyone is coming home this weekend, i'm pumped!! Yahoo!!! I can't wait!

.... just in a thinking mood tonight, i think i'll write in my real journal to get some REAL thoughts out...

Money = bad

2005-11-18T22:26:34Z

I thought tonight was going to be fun. My days had been going by so well and i've just been living my life. I was happy. I really was. Then i get an e-mail from my mom with some stupid shit about my cell phone bill, and then the school is dicking me over again with financial shit. I mean seriously. Why would you tell me that i took out too much money, asking if i wanted to send it back, and then I do that... then they tell me that i need to give them more money? It just doesn't make any sense. I'm so pissed right now. Seriously, things were great, i was really happy. Few ups and downs here and there, but you're not going to have a perfect day everyday. Why can't i just be happy for once. Why can't I just go on with my life for a while and not have anything go wrong? I can't even make it a week, let alone 3 days. I mean honestly, things were fine.

I was going to go out and have a good time tonight, but i don't know if i want to anymore. I might just have to sit back and take it easy tonight and figure out everything i have to do.I hate this because all i ever do is take shit out on myself. It's never anyone elses fault it's always my own. I'm never good enough and I never will be. I never wanted it to be this way. Last week all i did was work. I didn't do anything but work and do homework. This week i was looking to just relax and have a good time, but no apparently Friday afternoon everyone decides to just throw stupid shit out on me.

I need to think about the good things right now:

+ Did well on my Psych Quiz
+ Took really good notes in my Lit class because I don't understand a damn thing in Othello
+ Worked out
+ Took a nap on Kailtin's futon

... It's just so bad because the two bad things right now are over powering the good things because they're so little ...

I need to do something...

*Brittany*